My Pregnancy Story: Conception.
Articles about my solo conception experience via a fertility clinic.
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10 January 2017
The dilemma: A brief introduction
I want a baby. I am also a single woman, a fact that does not seem to be changing anytime soon. What makes me think I can handle raising another human being by myself? The last living member of the animal kingdom I took care of died in 1994… and it was a goldfish. Debbie Gibson (the fish) had a fantastic life. In theory I have a plan. As a web developer, I am in a profession where I can easily work from home. All I need is a laptop and a solid internet connection. I am lucky enough to work for a place where I can already work from home 1 day a week. I plan to stay there for a long time, so I only need to worry about daycare 4 days a week, theoretically. There is a daycare on campus, but only once future-baby is 18 months old. Day care is expensive, as are nannies. I need to do mor [...]
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10 January 2017
A complicated tale of research
This is a tale of two fertility clinics. I do not want to use names, so I’ll call them Clinic Alpha and Clinic Beta here. Getting Started My gynecologist referred me to Clinic Alpha first. I had an initial consultation with them last month. Clinic Alpha gave me books and white papers, took blood, and poked at my privates to make sure everything is OK. Thankfully, everything is, in fact, OK. Fantastic! Clinic Alpha and my insurance both confirmed that none of this endeavor would be covered unless I could prove that I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years. Fine. I could accept that. I asked Clinic Alpha for clarification on what I would need to do from now until conception and how much (roughly) each step would cost. Long story short, that was not a simple answer. It was not [...]
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30 January 2017
A new beginning
I had my initial consultation with Clinic Beta today. I had some initial concern that my experience with this new clinic would mimic that of Clinic Alpha. I was pleasantly surprised. I sat down with the doctor and we went over my initial paperwork, as well as my past test results. I briefly explained why I switched clinics. However, e mostly concentrated on the fact that I should be a relatively easy case. So far, my test results look good — really good considering my age. Goals Ideally, I should be able to get away with only using artificial insemination (IUI). This is a relief, since that is the only treatment my insurance will cover. There will still be out-of-pocket costs, but not as many as before. I do not have to pay hundreds of dollars to see my doctor. I do not have to si [...]
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01 February 2017
Prep work update
I took a couple baby steps in the last 24 hours to prepare my brain and body for the months ahead. Prenatal vitamins I stopped by the store after work last night for a couple of things and figured it was time to start the prenatal vitamins. I have been a daily multi-vitamin. I stood in the vitamin aisle for quite a file trying to find the prenatal ones. There were very few options in the rows of vitamins A, B12, C, D, Fish Oil, K, etc. I finally found 2 options: pill and gummy. I hate pills, so I gravitated towards the gummy. My first thought: Why is there crystalized sugar on them? Seriously. My regular gummy vitamin is sort of like a gummy bear. All gummy. No sugar crystals. My second thought: Why on earth do I need this? I mean, I get it. My body should be equipped with all [...]
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14 February 2017
HSG: The final (testing) frontier
This is an intense week of testing due to scheduling and where I am in my cycle. I had my last test today, the HSG, or hysterosalpingogram. (Say that five times fast.) The HSG is simply an X-ray of most of your girl parts. The purpose is to make sure your fallopian tubes are open. Open tubes means your eggs can travel from your ovaries to your uterus without any problems. Closed tubes means your parts are closed for business. It is a super quick test that they say feels almost like a pap smear. It does not. In reality, the speculum is the only part that is similar to a pap smear. During the test, they insert dye into the cervix. The X-ray machine is used to watch the dye as it travels through your system. Your tubes are open if the dye makes it to your ovaries. Before going in, I [...]
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21 February 2017
Testing, the final tally
I am finally (gloriously) done with the testing phase. I actually finished last week, but have been procrastinating writing about it. Last week was intense between the HSG, an appointment with the counselor, and the final blood work. Counseling Most, if not all, clinics require patients to have at least one visit with a social worker or psychologist. My doctor made sure to stress that this visit is not a test or a screening. It is simply an additional resource. The psychologist I saw was very helpful. She had a lot of insight and great advice. However, I found myself leaving with more questions — or rather more homework — than before I saw her. There is a ton of things to think about. Where do I get sperm? This question is especially complicated because I am currently debating [...]
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15 March 2017
A time-out to think
My doctor-imposed 2-month delay on starting my treatment (thank you chicken pox immunity woes) has given me a lot of time to think. Too much time, really. The tech world has a phenomenon called “imposter syndrome”, where you are working in a position that you deserve to be in, but you don’t think you are good enough to be in that position. You do your work and you do it well, but all the while, you have thoughts: “This isn’t good enough. I shouldn’t be working on this. Someone else can do this better. The team will figure this out eventually.” I have been having impostor syndrome about my own theoretical role as Mom. My current inner dialog… “I can’t do this. I won’t be good enough to raise a child. Especially not by myself. Lots of people can do this better. Lots of peop [...]
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03 July 2017
My first IUI rollercoaster
For those of you who don’t know (and many people don’t), I made the choice to become a single mother after years of debating this. My first actual attempt happened on June 17. I started to work with a fertility clinic at the beginning of this year and took all the tests. Everything came back great, considering my age. (I am now 39 years old.) My final tests completed in May and my doctor OK’ed my first try for my June cycle. I never thought that actually trying in June was realistic, mostly because of logistics. In the beginning of June, I was able to estimate my ovulation date and discovered that it coincided with an out-of-state conference that I was speaking at. Oops. I took ovulation tests anyway, so that I could verify at what point I ovulate in my cycle. To my surprise, my o [...]
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07 August 2017
Gearing up for IUI #3
Yes, I apparently skipped writing about IUI #2. Sorry, folks. I am an inconsistent blogger. Since it has been a while, I will catch you all up now on my IUI rollercoaster. When I used that word in my last post, I had no idea how true it would be. Takes #1 and #2… nope! As you can infer from the title of this post, my first two IUIs did not take. IUI #1 was a disaster. I was stressed and anxious through the entire two-week wait (TWW - apparently everything is an acronym), which led me to believe that every single feeling I had was a pregnancy symptom. No wonder that one didn’t take. My body probably said to itself, “Pfft. Are you crazy? You are way too hyped up to do this. Veto!” IUI #2 was better. I was less anxious, but I kind of knew throughout it that it was not going to take [...]
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30 August 2017
Hiatus
Well, IUI attempt #3 was a bust. I am heartbroken, not just because this failed, but because I honestly thought it was going well. I had symptoms. I am even pretty sure they were not psychosomatic. There were days when I felt nauseous after eating. Right before AF reared her ugly head, my breasts hurt. I mean, they hurt. That is saying a lot, since in my particular case, there isn’t much there to hurt. Even when AF did come, it was different. The first day and a half were very slow, which is not even close to my normal. You could almost say I was more spotting than anything. I honestly thought it was implantation bleeding, at least until it went to full flow. Needless to say, my body duped me. I’m sure it was all hormones and stress. I have spent the last 3 months strategically pu [...]
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01 October 2017
A complicated story about medication and logistics
I am starting to prep for my next attempt. This one will be medicated, which is terrifying in and of itself. I will be on I’ll be on Clomid (a pill taken orally), Prometrium (a pill taken vaginally, which should be interesting), and Ovedril (a syringe and I just don’t want to know yet). Finding a pharmacy My insurance covers none of this, so my doctor called in the prescription to a couple of online pharmacies so that I can compare prices. Freedom Fertility came back with the best price, so I called them back a couple days later to place the order. On that second call, I was told that they got the total wrong when they quoted me during the first call. The total price they quoted was actually for only 2 of the 3 meds I need. (This is after I asked them the first time if that was for [...]
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24 October 2017
Medication: A reality story
It is day 1 of my new cycle. I am back from vacation and ready to start trying again. It seems like a good time to figure out what all of my new medication does, right? Sure! To recap: I need to be on three different medications: Clomid, Ovidrel, and Prometrium. These medications are all taken at different, specific times during my cycle. Let’s break this down. Clomid I will take Clomid orally on days 3 through 7 of my cycle. Clomid is used to stimulate the production of follicles in my ovaries so I produce more eggs. Egg production is not exactly my problem, but my doctor wants to use this to speed things along since my last three pregnancy attempts were all busts. I am on the lowest dose possible - 25mg - to give my system a boost, while minimizing my chances of having multipl [...]
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01 November 2017
Cycle monitoring update
I have been slacking on my updates. (I did warn you all about my blogging infrequency.) Today is day 9 of my cycle. I went in for a monitoring session last week on day 3. These monitoring sessions include a blood test and an ultrasound, to check out my ovaries. Everything looked great! I went in for a second monitoring session today. Today’s session was important because I could be potentially close to ovulating. I am not, but I am on track. My estrogen levels from my blood work look good. I have a bunch of follicles. Three of them are on the larger side: 10mm - 11mm. They need to get to at least 18mm before I can take the Ovidrel (the “trigger shot”) and schedule the IUI. Since I am pretty close, I have another monitoring session in two days (day 11 of my cycle). Stay tuned!
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13 November 2017
IUI #4: The final frontier?
I am a little bit behind in my blogging here, but I had my 4th IUI last Tuesday, which means as of today, I am 6 dpiui. Medication update I am on progesterone, which if you were paying attention to my previous post about medications, is that pill you take vaginally. (Again… ugh.) I am happy to report that the pill-taking process is going well, in that I am successfully taking the meds. Funny thing about progesterone - it makes you bleed. This is a common and very expected side effect. This is also not a side effect I am thrilled with. My nurse told me that a panty liner will be sufficient for the bleeding. It is not. While I am not bleeding a ton (it is certainly not enough to fill an entire maxi pad), I am definitely - and regularly - bleeding enough where a liner is not going to [...]
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20 November 2017
It hasn't even been 2 weeks!
Today, at 13 dpiui, marks the day before my pregnancy test. I feel nauseous. And dizzy. And I may have my period. Or maybe that’s just all the bleeding from the progesterone. Which could explain the dizziness. Or not. How the hell should I know?! Oh, did I mention I’m cranky? And hungry. Oh crap. I forgot that I’m nauseous.
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