I want a baby. I am also a single woman, a fact that does not seem to be changing anytime soon.
What makes me think I can handle raising another human being by myself? The last living member of the animal kingdom I took care of died in 1994… and it was a goldfish. Debbie Gibson (the fish) had a fantastic life.
In theory I have a plan.
As a web developer, I am in a profession where I can easily work from home. All I need is a laptop and a solid internet connection. I am lucky enough to work for a place where I can already work from home 1 day a week. I plan to stay there for a long time, so I only need to worry about daycare 4 days a week, theoretically. There is a daycare on campus, but only once future-baby is 18 months old. Day care is expensive, as are nannies. I need to do more research here.
Insert panic here….
How about when future-baby becomes future-small-child (FSC)? FSC starts school. No more daycare! But then we start the morning routines. Class-wide germ epidemics. Getting excited about learning. Homework. Explosion of toys. After-school things. Parental controls on all the electronics. Growing up. Puberty. Growing up too fast? Panic attacks about the cute kid FSC has a crush on and all of a sudden we are having “the talk” and what did I get myself into?
That paragraph up there is the mental panic I have more often than not these days.
Yet this 38-year old single introverted woman still wants a baby.
So… what is this?
I thought it might be interesting to chronicle my journey into voluntary single motherhood. Feel free to follow along. Advice welcome. Please be gentle.
Tagged: conception