Now that I am quite obviously pregnant, I find that I have more conversations with colleagues that center around my growing belly. This is a conversation that I have with someone at least once per day:
Me: (On my way to the restroom.)
Well meaning colleague: (Standing still.) Hello! How is the baby doing?
Me: (Stops.) Fine! In fact, she is doing a drum solo on my bladder right now. (Tries to continue to walk towards the restroom.)
WMC: (Still standing still.) Oh! So you’re having a girl!
Me: (Stops again.) Yes! I am also about to have an accident. Excuse m…
WMC: Girls are so great. I have a (girl/boy/cat/cup of coffee).
Me: Yup. I’m super excited… and uncomfortable.
WMC: Fantastic! When are you due?
Me: In about 30 seconds from now… oh, I mean July 31.
WMC: So soon! That must be exciting.
Me: (Mentally says f-it and runs to the restroom.)
I love all of you well meaning colleagues, but for the love of all that is good in the world, let the pregnant women in your life pee!